Mike McConnell posted that he was bewildered about a mother's refusal to share email or phone contact for her son whose speaking-on-the-phone abilities were bragged to him upon which McConnell wondered whether she exaggerated and wanted to find out for himself. As many of us know, SOME profoundly deaf can speak on the phone that has the volume control feature and most often with familiar people such as family members or people they had spoken with before. This mother insisted her son could "gab" on phone with just anybody....and like McConnell, I also question that claim. But this is not what I am discussing about....
Why is this even surprising? Mothers are always bragging and exaggerating about their deaf children's abilities to speak, especially on the phone, even the deaf parents whose children are deaf. Parents have this tendency to desire to "normalize" and "hearize" their deaf children, and this is as old as time.
I especially liked one commenter who said a CI surgeon was puzzled as to why his patient was upset when he warned her that she may not be able to speak on the phone using CI because he read in her file on her hearing stats and in that range, she wouldn't be able to speak on the phone. He decided to inquire her family and found out she couldn't actually speak or hear on the phone - she only made calls to talk to the person on the other end what she wanted to say and hung up - unquoting this commenter - "like an answering machine." Apparently her parents labeled this as "ability to speak on phone," and gave her that impression.
Hearing parents are often the bane of the deaf's existences. They want so much for us to be like them and will go to lengths to do so. Some commenters said they are profoundly deaf and still could hear and speak on the phone (with volume control, they all emphasized upon) with most people, even strangers. I am still skeptical about that because often the hearing people will not tell truthfully whether they could understand them on the phone. They rather to give the impression they could understand them as to encourage them to continue using the phone. And many deaf also admit not hearing most of the dialogue and filling in the blanks, a skill they developed over time, depriving from life experiences.
The hearing people need to be more truthful as not to give the deaf a false sense of abilities they do not actually have. The ability to speak with family members and some familiar people on phone is already a skill in itself and why isn't that enough? This skill requires dedication and a lot of training. This accomplishment is to be commendable.
Agreed - I've always thought those who are profoundly deaf and yet manage to acquire the skill to speak whether in person or on the phone are to be recognized for that accomplishment, and that it is to their advantage because I often wish I could speak to make things so much easier when ordering in a fast food restaurant or in situations like that. We ARE living in hearing world and speaking DOES make things easier. I am profoundly deaf and after 6 years of speech therapy, I still couldn't speak. I guess I am one of those who just couldn't acquire the skill. My parents were always my role models - they always carried paper and pad, and so do I.
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